Dear Board of Deacons,

This is a chain letter. The result of a computerized survey indicates that the perfect preacher:

• Preaches 15 minutes
• Condemns sin; but never offends anyone
• Works from 8 till midnight including janitorial work
• Makes $60 per week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car and gives $50 per week to the poor
• Is 28 years old and has been preaching for 30 years
• Wonderfully, perfectly handsome
• Has a burning desire to work with teenagers but spends all his time with the older folk
• Smiles with a straight face because his sense of humor keeps him seriously dedicated to his work.
• He makes 15 calls per day on church family, shut-ins, hospitalized, while evangelizing the lost
• He is always in his office when needed.

If your preacher does not measure up to this chain letter, send this letter to six other churches who also are tired of their preacher. Bundle up your preacher and send him to the church at the top of the list. In one year you will receive 1,643 preacher. One of them should be perfect.

WARNING: Keep this letter going. One church broke the chain and got their old preacher back in six months.