True Story
My husband, son and I were in our vehicle when someone cut us off. After he swerved out of the guy's way my husband said some choice colorful words, including some phrases indicating where Our Lord should send the fellow in his afterlife. My six-year-old turned solemnly to my husband and said, "Papa, don't take God's name in Spain!"

MY FOOTSTEPS?
An acquaintance of mine that is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

TOO ROUGH
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

SO KEEP THE SINGING DOWN, OK?
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

THE PRESSED LEAF
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!"

NEW MATH
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 4,2,28, and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO, and the Cartoon Network!"

WHERE'S GRAMA
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for pre-school, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house...
"Is that your grandmother? "I asked....
"Yes", Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said." Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

STARTING THE MORNING RIGHT
This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 yr. old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV ' The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

Chicken Little
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to continue for the next 10 minutes.